Lovism is a mutual conversation for both sexes, meant to replace the current hostility and competitive antagonism that extremists have created between men and women.
By adopting unfounded and rigid perspectives, feminism has excluded ordinary men from all discussions about the relations between the sexes, while drifting further and further away from the wishes and dreams of most women. After feminism has implemented its separatist-antagonistic approach, in response to this self-centeredness and its impact, men’s groups, while bringing to light men’s issues, imitated the feminist separatism thereby fostering a similar reclusive attitude. The result, in which we all live today, is a divorce between the sexes.
All along, what women and men were looking for was not conflict, but a shared, mutual discussion, for both of them, in which they could talk to one another. Not through blaming, intimidation and fear as offered by feminism, but in mutual understanding and empathy. This is what Lovism is: A philosophy of equality for both sexes, which is based on conversation rather than on confrontation, to replace the feminist dialect of intimidation and fear with a language of love.
Lovism is conversation as a paradigm. The conversation can and should take place on social media, in online forums, in public places such as universities or your local library or coffee shop or pub. Groups of men and women sitting together and opening up, not in order to blame, overpower or hurt as done in feminism, but to find empathy and to gain and create understanding. So that a broader culture of norms and codes, founded on consideration in both directions, could form, not by spreading fear, but based on love.
Lovism is a name for the humanist and humane way in which the vast majority of men and women understand the word equality :
- One of equality under the realization that contrary to feminist dogma, the sexes are not identical, and therefore equality does not mean identical lives formed by imposed sameness interpreted as equality, but solely equal opportunity and equal cultivation, with acceptance of, and respect for, free will and personal choices.
- One of an understanding that separatism from the other sex and silencing of the other sex does not produce listening, but on the contrary, can only generate in any person the very opposite – deafness and disengagement – and that only a paradigm of mutuality and reciprocity can achieve what both sexes wish for.
- One of an appreciation that dictation by aggression and fear, used in feminism to impose its vision of sameness, will not better the relations between the sexes, but only listening in return for listening can achieve that, in a mutual and open conversation where both sexes can express themselves freely and equally.
More broadly and in a historical perspective, Lovism may be regarded as a name for applying the general principles of humanism to the relations between the sexes. Its introduction is motivated by the fact that humanism was formulated for the relations between the individual and the state, while leaving a gap in the personal side of human relations. This gap was tragically filled with women’s separatism (called Feminism) to be later ensued by men’s separatism in response to the female one. However, separatism is the splitting of humanity into “us” and “them”, which necessarily leads, as it does in feminism, to a supremacist view of “us” and a demonizing view of “them”. Both the female and male separatism phenomena were an ill response to the gap in humanism, causing the competitive hostility surrounding us today. Instead, the gap in humanism should have been addressed in the first place with a mutual perspective about the personal relations between the sexes. This is what the concept and term Lovism stands for and constitutes, to replace both separatist approaches with mutual understanding and, ultimately, love.
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