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What really happened in Me Too?

The Gender Church, The Trauma Culture, The Feminized Macho, are only a few of the terms revealed for the first time in the book Lovism. The many women who wanted to be treated as equals but could not relate to the aggressiveness of present-day feminism, could finally find in Lovism the word they were looking for to express their feelings and views; gents who felt left out of a world created by radical feminism, could finally join the women they love by saying with them, “I am a Lovist!”

The book is critical of the assumptions of contemporary feminism, which amount to imposing norms and demands that neither women nor men consider relevant to their relations, and ultimately transform feminism into a dictating party. Much of the book is devoted to replacing feminist misconceptions about the two sexes with well-founded insights and perceptions, without which, no perspective could attend to people’s actual emotions and dreams.

If you want to find love and to give love, while all you see around you is anger, blaming and fear, and wish that men and women could just talk to one another and be with each other, then you are not alone, and have many friends among the readers of Lovism.

“I grew up inside my head. Within my head the world looked differently, women were the strong ones, men were the idiots. I don’t know, this is what I concluded from TV and reality. A man woos the woman, the woman is the lioness who chooses. I didn’t understand the term Patriarchy. I regarded the feminist struggle as something I admire and I felt I have to do anything for women, they are goddesses. They are the most important thing, the smartest thing, I as a man was the stupid and there’s no way I will reach their level. I hated the position “a man.” And most of all, I was afraid, afraid of women… Fear of women was one of the first causes that started in me the depression… I was willing to hurt myself just so that a lady won’t be offended, I was willing to do for them anything… My question, and not as a man who tries to mansplain… is how this whole abandoned area is transformed, to something more organized, from which it is possible to learn a little more about the relations, feelings, consideration, and sex too” (A Facebook post published by a young man on August, 2019)

“My mother used to sing to me, ‘My little girl, don’t walk by yourself’, and it was such fun walking by myself. The injury was in a much closer place… Most of all, I feel sorry for us women, for finding nothing else to say or do other than shouting all day long that this is not the right way to approach us and how the world would be better off without men (who are beloved and sweeter than sweet in my eyes). By do I mean, to pass laws, to educate (children and adults alike, but without self-victimization), to go back a little to a more restraint approach on the news, to learn what intimacy is, to respect a person – any person – and especially opening up the conversation and not closing it down by saying we don’t need men in the world… I’m sorry but this is my opinion, with love” (A comment by an anonymous woman under the name “Only love can prevail,” August 2020)

Most men and most women yearn to have the conversation, to talk – in order to understand and to disclose. This is all what lovism is – a conversation. Where both men and women, instead of blaming and fearing each other, reveal to one another their true feelings, hopes, dreams and pain, to create mutual understanding. Upon which, norms and codes can arise, through an open discourse between men and women rather than through dictation to both. Lovism is conversation as a paradigm. It is created so that both sexes could say together, “I am not a feminist, I am not a men’s rights activist, I am a lovist – I support both sexes, not one. I support the other, not merely myself.” The conversation can and should take place on social media, in online forums, in public places such as universities or your local library or coffee shop or pub. Groups of men and women sitting together and opening up. Not in order to blame, overpower or hurt, but to find empathy and to gain and create understanding. So that a broader culture of norms and codes, founded on consideration in both directions, could form, and not by spreading fear, but based on love. Only love can create understanding and consideration. Fear can never achieve that, it only turns a wheel of perpetual pain. The stage is yours. Please start talking.

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